Self-confidence is most often described as a trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement. It is an acceptance of yourself and an attitude of self awareness, of knowing your strengths and weaknesses while having a positive view of yourself. Does this sound like you? If it doesn’t, keep reading.

Why is Self-Confidence important? 

Having greater self-confidence allows you to steer away from self-doubt and negative thoughts about yourself. It allows you to create smart risks and positive change, feel less anxious and more comfortable in your own skin and be able to step out of your comfort zone. You can hold your head high, having freedom from social anxiety. All of these things will set you up to have a better life. I know it seems like a small thing, but it can have a huge impact on your home life, work, family and relationships. It can help you start at that new gym everyone has been talking about, that promotion you’ve been after at work, that person who has caught your eye. Self-confidence can help tremendously with all aspects of your life.

Self-Confidence is not an emotion, it is a way of being or an action and can take a while to implement into daily life. There are a lot of factors that come into play when trying to find your confidence. Most of these factors are something that we have no control over. Life as we know it is uncontrollable, all of us go through hardships, trauma, illness, embarrassment, loss, and regret. I mean really, you never know what you’re going to get. One day it’s sunshine and rainbows and the next, rain and sadness. The most uncontrollable factor is other people. The interactions we have with others, the relationships we build, the way they treat us and we treat them affect us every day. The ONE thing you CAN control is yourself. The way you see yourself, the relationship you have with yourself and the way you hold true to who you are. At the end of the day, truly, YOU is all you have. Find confidence in who you are and you’ll see how much easier your life can be.  

Let’s take a second to explore where we might fit on a confidence scale. Confident or not so confident. Here is a small list of what confident people DON’T do:

  • They don’t believe they are worth less than others. Not only do they have a sense of worth but an understanding that they have the right to stand up for themselves, enjoy life, pursue dreams, and make a difference in the world. Whatever that may be. 
  • They don’t fear self-doubt. The confident have realized that not all self-doubt is bad. It can be a sign that we haven’t learned or practiced enough. It may mean that you need more information, to move into a different direction, or even to take a break. 
  • They don’t hesitate too much. They don’t overthink or obsess over what could or might go wrong. 
  • They don’t wait for the “big” move. It’s not always about the big bold action. There is a lot to be accomplished in those smaller steps. If anything, the little ones are the most important. These little steps can be just as bold and as brave as the “big” ones.
  • They don’t confuse confidence with arrogance.
  • They don’t fear feedback or conflict. But rather, take advantage of such things and make the necessary changes.
  • They don’t fear failure. Confidence doesn’t mean you’re not ever going to fail but when you do, you can put yourself back together and get ready for what is next. 
  • They don’t have to make things perfect. 
  • They don’t believe everything they see in ads or on social media. 
  • They don’t avoid trying new things. 
  • They don’t focus on themselves. Maybe a better way to put it is, they don’t focus on what people might be focusing on.  They don’t care what others think. People get so caught up in their own thoughts and feelings that it affects their engagement with others. The second you get out of your own head, you can focus on the task or conversation at hand. 
  • They don’t let others determine their goals. Do what you want to do, when you want to do it, and don’t let anyone try to stop you. Find whatever it is that makes you happy and don’t stop until you get it.

Some signs that might show that you have low self-confidence:

  • You find yourself putting others down.
  • You start seeking daily validation.
  • You apologize, even when there is nothing to say sorry for.
  • You are not speaking up (literally and figuratively).
  • Your body language is less than powerful.

Now that we have gone over the details, hopefully you have a better idea of where you fall on the confidence scale.  Some elements you may need to work on and some that you don’t. Some of you may have a lot of work to do. There is no shame in that; be proud that you’ve taken the time to recognize and take action. This process will take time. Focus on one thing at a time and slowly you will notice the changes and find yourself feeling energized and a more positive person.

Here are some more examples of things you can work on to build your self-confidence:

  • Visualize yourself as you want to be 
  • Affirm yourself 
  • Do something that challenges you daily 
  • Be your biggest critic but biggest fan 
  • Take some time to reflect and be alone 
  • Set yourself up to win
  • Help someone else 
  • Care for yourself 
  • Be kind and caring of others
  • Be humble 
  • Compliment yourself and others
  • Positive vibes only

Change is not easy. It is scary and hard, but it is worth it. This simple life skill will increase your quality of life greatly. Having a love and respect for yourself is so empowering. Not only will you be a happier person but those around you will feed off your positivity. Be the light of the room, radiate good energy and kindness. People will be attracted to your self-confidence and want to be around you. Fake it until you make it! Observe, don’t judge. Understand that some days will be better than others, effort and awareness will get you through to the next day. Enjoy the journey, don’t get frustrated or side tracked. You are only human.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: COACH COCO GERARD

Being from an athletic and fitness minded family it would seem natural my interest follow. But it was my junior year of high school when my Love for fitness really blossomed. Black Flag opened me up to the next level of fitness and training! It was here, at Black Flag I realized I was born to teach! I began to coach and teach group classes and then I found my way to personal training with younger kids in our Athletic Development program. This experience opened up an entire new world for me. This new level of teaching and connecting with people and athletes has empowered me as a coach! My goal for making meaningful, healthy, trustworthy and grounding relationships through fitness was finally possible! My mission is to learn, grow and thrive with all my clients (athletes). The fitness world truly changed my life, I hope to help all find the healthy peace that I have found through my journey and be the guiding hand to get us, as a team to achieve their goals.
Coach Coco holds the following professional certifications:
  • CrossFit Level 1
  • USA Weightlifting Level 1
  • EXOS Fitness Specialist